SELFPROGRESS: How to resolve Problems

SELFPROGRESS: How to resolve Problems: " Have a powerful breack betwen the problem and your reaction so that you will participate the intellect on your action otherwise it's easy ...

why are you afraid?

Two friends were travelling together and the sky was full of clouds. It was getting dark more and more. At a certain moment one of them started to run and the other friend without asking started to run too.
After a while,  they finded a river without bridge. The man who started to run continue running along the river and the second crossed the river with all the lagages and he was totally wet. Any way they mate themselves at the other side of the river.


Now came series of questions:
Why didn't you cross the river immediatly? because I was looking for a bridge he answered.
we were running because of the rain and it was not important to wet your stuffs. Some time it's better to know why are you afraid.


When you are afraid ask yourself in which situation are you?
And what are you going to loose and why are you afraid to loose it?


lukodikrista@yahoo.fr

Origin of fear: among many of them, we identify only 4:


1. Ignorance


If you go some where and your mind doesn't have any information about your futur, you think about what you have and who you are and you don't want to loose anything  then you feel insecurity and the body develop a mecanism of protection expressed by fear, you can become also nervous.


In this case violence comes like an expression of protection. The same feeling is experienced before examinations, before interviews, in the hospital,... To reduce this we need to prepare well before, to lead a good life and to learn to accept things which are evident like "dead, not succes for exams, to be desapointed after interviews,...


When you discover your reason of being afraid, you will use the good tool to overcome or to protect yourself.

2. Consequences


Hier you know the situation and you understand that you are going to loose something important. And if this thing is part of your security  you get fear. If you detach yourself to what you want to loose, fear desapear or become less.


3. Honesty


It can happen that you move in a way that many things you're doing are agains the rules,  disturb the freedom of others or disturb the harmony of the society. Hier you fear Authorities, because when they discorver they can react in a way that may cause uncomfortability.
Respect rules if it's possible you'll experience mental freedom, respect agreement,...


4. Reactions


Hier you know that the ractions of  your actions will create disturbings. For exemple, you talk badly about somebody while he/she ist not present and you are conscious that if he/she knows,...
It's better to be careful when we talk about some one who is not present.


When somebody is afraid, the breath becomes short and have less quantity of oxygen in the brain, then the capacity of reflecting reduces, the same thing happens when we are angry. This is why when we are angry the first thing is to go away physically or mentally from the place in oder to detach our senses from the situation. If you start to breath slowlly you can come back to the normal breathing rythm and the agitation reduces.

Are you afraid to loose your life, your dignity, your peace or something else, material things or immaterial things, afraid to show your weack side...? more and more you fear something, more and more you become weack when it's approaches or you use the bad tool to face it.


Are you afraid of somebody? because he his stronger than you, because he has monney, because he is the boss, because he is responsable,... all those are roles but they are persons like you. Discorver only what you fear and you will know how to move. doing sport in a correct way can help you to develop selfconfidence and courage to face fear.
To do things with love help to reduce fear.

Self control

"when you are alone take care of thoughts, with friends take care of your words, in the family take care of your mood"

The negatives thoughts: they steal us energy, they stimulate us to desgrace the others, to use violence, to think that we are much better than the others, to create uncomfortability, to make useless jugements on the others or on ourselves... where are they from? Is it possible to control or to avoid them?

Listen to this: one day i was in the aeroport waiting for the boarding, i saw somebody eating a sandwich let's say without control. The girl who was beside me said "how is it possible to eat in this way? i don't want to look at him she said,..." i had also the same impression, but in few second i realized that those our useless jugements are within us but not in the action. I tryed to create this thought" I'm happy that he gets something to eat and he will be happy  too after that". Then I moved close and greeted and after a short but beautiful talk, the man became my good compagnion of the trip. 

I learned to be tolerant, because i'm not the model of the world, i've to respect the behavior of the others and if i want to help some one to change something in order to create harmony in the society, i've to do with respect and love. A correction should be like a gift otherwise it will be rejected. We need to accept also that the correction is always uncomfortable, but when we are humble we can handle this and we will become wiser than before.

Accept others exactly as they are, when you notice your resistance towards anyone ask yourself why. You will probably notice it's because you believe that  they are not doing or  being what you want. it's a sign that we have fallen asleep to who we are as a natural givers. we try to be getters as we want something from others. we forget that true love does not want  for anything or take from anyone, it only gives and shares of itself. Remember that love is , in essence, what we are.

Listen closely to the hearts of others because we can never know what is in the heart of another. It's often the case that they don't really know themselves. We also tend to want to tell them what should be there. To establish real peace in any relationship, one way that guarantees success is to listen not only to their words but to their feelings. Let them tell their story. Let them clarify what is really going on in their heart. As you do, you create a real connection without judgement. As you do, they are able to hear themselves, with greater clarity, what they are really thinking and feeling.

Our mind move like  a wild horse and if we don't educate our mind it can lead us where we don't want to go.

What can we do?

we have power to transform negative in positive thinking. As you know this :it's possible.

when you have conflict with somebody even the person was wrong continue to send to him best wishes and in this way you resolve mentally the situation. Doing this you may find a way to experience freedom before the fisical reconciliation.

Is this topic  interesting for you?

Exercise:

Check many situations that create in you uncomfortability and look with objectivity, try to transform the negative in positive thinking and tell me if it's works. you need daily training for this.


LOVE AND PEACE BE WITH YOU

This is  my contact lukodikrista@yahoo.fr
lukodikrista150@googlemail.com

How to resolve Problems

" Have a powerful breack betwen the problem and your reaction so that you will participate the intellect on your action otherwise it's easy to react with instinct and some of those reactions cause conflicts and hurt  not only the others but also yourself."

Instead of creating tension before resolving difficult situations, we need to  relax because in state of agitation we use more the emmotional side of our mind and less the rational side.
Let's consider that a problem is a situation that challenges your happyness, your security, your freedom, your vision of life, your relationschip, your affection, and etc. A problem is a situation in which you don't have an answer or you are not agree with the answer.
with this approach  a problem appear like  an obstacle on our way, something that threaten our life. This situation create insecurity , then your survival instinct sent an allert in the entier body so you get the attitude of defence. Hier,  you deffend yourself or some thing that you don't like to loose. You can use many way: To tell lies, to use your position(responsability, capacities, social classe) to intimidate the others, to escape, to create confusion, and etc... some time you don't know how to defend and you just cry to release the tension or to demostrate your innocence, your weakness, your emotions,...
The risk is that we can use all the energy to protect ourselves einstead of searching a solution to the problem.
The answer exist but need patience because the process to the solution would take time.
10 of many  passages in front of a (problem)obstacle:

1. fisical or spiritual feeling (to bring down with deep breathing)
2.dettach yourself to the situation in oder to see things with objectivity
3.identify the problem
4.accept the situation
5.look for the solution( be honest and humble, have courage to express yourself, don't reserve bad surprise for others).
6.accept the solution and consequences
7.reconciliate with yourself and with others so that you don't have internal wounds
8.make a decision after learning from the situation, beacause ther's alway a messagge behind situations and if we are not carreful we don't get it and the next time we fall in the same traps.
9.have confidence on the decision and detach yourself
10.react and enjoy the life.

"Problems are also opportunities to make new axperience, to become strong, to grow up spiritually or psichologically, to open new relationschip, we can become more wiser than before, we discover our limits and if we accept it this will lead us to umility and good understanding of ourselves(it is a chance to get to process of change),..."

Exercise:

 Consider your situation and try to use the 10 advices. If you discover others tools you can communicate so that we can add to the list.